Reflections on our time with Dr. Becky
It’s been just a few days since our community event with Dr. Becky last week, and in those few days, I have already used so many of her pieces of wisdom and guidance. In addition to deeply valuing her unwavering message that we are all good inside, one particular message that Dr. Becky shared, resonated with me deeply and I used it immediately and in a variety of circumstances, with myself, my kids and my colleagues: “Sometimes things feel hard because they are hard.”
Dr. Becky shared that we are our children’s mirrors. When she told us, “I am as I am seen”, I was captivated. During the pandemic, so many of us got lost in our one main identity: being a parent. She shared that as the pandemic lifted, we started to see ourselves as more than “one thing”: individual beings with careers, passions, hobbies, joys and fears. Giving ourselves permission to embrace the many facets of our identity models for our children that we can be parents and all the other things we are. Doing so will create a foundation in our children that intrinsically makes it possible for them to seek people in their lives as adults who value them for their beautiful, multi-faceted selves and vice versa.
Dr. Becky, Carrie Kries and surprise guest, Britt Hawthorne!
One of the great takeaways that our parents and teachers acknowledged at the end of our fireside chat with Dr. Becky was how important it is to establish clear boundaries with our children and that a boundary is something that we will do as parents/teachers and never something our children will do (or not do).
As we said farewell to Dr. Becky, parents and teachers shared a “waterfall” of gratitude by naming the many tangible takeaways that inspired us during our very special time with her. Below are a few:
“Confidence is self-trust”
“The idea of WONDER. Letting them know they are full of wonder and we see that”
“I am as I am seen - brilliant”
“Activate their identity as problem solvers”
“Parenting is hard! We aren’t doing anything wrong”
As we move forward, I hope we will find ways to embrace our shared learning and apply the valuable lessons and insights we gained from Dr. Becky. Let’s, as a community, continue to embrace the joy in our parenting journey, and recognize the inherent goodness within each of us.
Carrie Kries, Head of School